Winners were chosen using a top secret, scientific tabulation and then given to us in sealed envelopes by Deloitte & Touche. See below vid for spoilers.
Best character without a penis
- Tie! Johnny and Jax
Best Actor who puts up with the most ish storylines and still puts in a brilliant performance
Port Charles’ biggest punching bag
Port Charles’ biggest lurker
Port Charles’ biggest stalker
Port Charles’ biggest whiner
- Jasper Jacks
- close runner-up Johnny (we know, his sister died but not before she terrorized Sonny’s kids, slept with Sonny’s brother, used faulty contraception to get pregnant, put Michael in a coma, and kidnapped a pregnant woman and tried to steal her baby)
Port Charles’ biggest slut
Best unrequited love:
- Jax for Sonny
Best facial mole placement of all time
Most overused comedic technique
- Spinelli’s nicknames
Biggest soap magazine whiner
- Soaps in Depth: stop using Maurice Benard to sell your magazine then continually bash his character in your opinion pieces that you masquerade as news articles. Unethical Much?
Biggest Soap Blogger turn-off
- Begin with: “You know how much I hate Sonny”. We know where this is going so we’ll skip your blog. Thanks!
- Nelson Branco
- Maurice Benard: whether it’s good writing or bad Maurice brings it 365 days a year
- Tie: Lexie Ainsworth (she was brilliant in the abuse s/l with Keifer), Kimberly McCullough
- Maurice Benard–no one can wear a suit like him
- Suzanne Stanwyck: cover your cleavage lady it’s no longer your best asset
- Three way tie! Sonny shoots Dante, Kristina abused by Keifer, Sonny and Brenda’s rekindled romance
- Tie: Maurice Benard: 17 years in and the guy is still hot; Vanessa Marcil Giovinazzo, still gorgeous!
- Brenda Barrett (to Sonny): I only want to be seen with you
- Brenda Barrett (to Sonny): I realize now that it wasn’t the absence of someone who made me feel lonely, it was the absence of you
Sonny Corinthos (to Brenda):
- You were breathtaking
- Sonny and Brenda
Most Beautiful Couple
- Sonny and Brenda
- Three way tie: Lante, Mac & Alexis, Jolivia
Best self pimped couple:
Characters we’d like to see less of:
- Spinelli, Suzanne, Johnny, Jax
Blogger themes we’re most sick of
- Three way tie! Soaps are dead, mob violence is bad, Sonny is an evil man whore (Alexis and Liz have kids by three different fathers and nobody gripes about them. In her three years on GH Courtney was married THREE times and had a love child with Nik, yet nobody continually harps about the action she got)
- Sonny and Brenda see each other in Rome
Best scene watched through tears
- Sonny and Brenda declare their feelings for one another in Sonny’s old apartment
- Erin Chambers (Siobhan)
Best Martin Scorsese inspired storyline (a la Gangs of New York)
- Lucky masquerading as Ronan O’Reilly
Best Francis Ford Coppola inspired moment
- Sonny shoots Dante juxtaposed with Josslyn’s Christening scene
Best John Waters inspired moment
- Nik’s “Dante’s flashback” hair
Worst place for private conversations
- Nurses Station
Most idiotic mobster confidante
Best renewed friendship
- Sonny and Alexis
Worst Sonny enemy
- Wiley Coyote with Crocodile Dundee
- Tie: Johnny and Carly
Worst character transition
- Michael from lion to pussy cat
Worst over-used electronic device
- Jax’s telephone (he never does his own dirty work because he’s got people)
- Carly going to bat for Sonny when he went to trial for killing Claudia then turning on him after Dante spilled the beans about Michael
Things we’d like to see in the coming year
- Sonny/Dante bonding
- a REAL Sonny and Brenda romance with no interlopers
- Brenda/Kristina bonding
Things that makes absolutely no sense
- Sonny is an evil, killer, sociopath mobster who kills people and bad to be in a relationship with but his hit man who actually kills more people than anyone on the show and is also a mobster is a perfect dreamboat
- Diane lambasts any woman who is with Sonny but she dates Max who works for him
- Suzanne hates evil, killer, sociopath mobster who kills people Sonny but LOVES Jason his hit man
- Helena is a ruthless woman who actually enjoys maiming and killing people but she’s campy and fun! We guess being good at accessorizing trumps all.
- Tracy hates Sonny for being a criminal mobster but not too long ago SHE was a criminal mobster
Are we biased? Hells yeah! But so is everyone else. Don’t let them fool you.
|Have a day!|
|Moxie and Kumar
Monday, December 6
*Sonny & Brenda are about to make love when they’re interrupted by Carly & Spinelli.
*Olivia & Johnny end their relationship.
*We meet Theo Hoffman.
Tuesday, December 7
*Dante goes above & beyond as Brenda’s bodyguard.
Wednesday, December 8
*Diane tries to convince Brenda NOT to reunite with Sonny.
*Michael is called to Jake’s to pick up an inebriated Dante.
*Dante bares his soul to Michael.
Michael sticks his foot in his mouth with Abby.
Thursday, December 9
*When Lulu discovers Dante hung-over she questions his recent behavior.
*Dante goes to see Sonny, intent on telling him his the full truth.
Friday, December 10
*Sonny Surprises Brenda with a gift!
*Sonny & Brenda begin to make love!
*Olivia and Steve hit the sheets.
Monday, December 13
**IT’S A BIG DAY FOR SONNY & BRENDA FANS!!!!!!!
***SONNY & BRENDA MAKE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!
*JERRY JAXS RETURNS!!!
Carly begs Jason to keep Sonny & Brenda apart.
*Michel confides in Sam about his feelings for Abby.
Wednesday, December 15
*Jason realizes Jerry is involved somehow.
*Jerry shows up at the Jax’s house & proclaims his hatred for Brenda.
Friday, December 17
*LuLu worries that Dante is still in-love with Brenda.
*LuLu might just join forces with Carly.
Tuesday, December 21
12/21 Luke and Tracy’s big day arrives.
Thursday, December 23
GH airs an encore episode.
Friday, December 24
~*~*~ CHRISTMAS EVE~*~*~
GH airs an encore episode.
The following may have come from GHH
Jason and Lucky and Dante add it all up and realize that only one person would be fixated on Sam to such a creepy degree…Jerry Jax. They wonder if he is the Balkan (he isn’t).
Siobhan is determined to be of help to Lucky.
Maya asks Nikolas to ease up on Robin.
Lisa tries to manipulate both Nikolas and Johnny.
Maya tries to avoid Ethan.
Maya fights her growing feelings for Ethan…she wants to keep things strictly business.
Sonny and Brenda go on their date; Carly is not pleased.
After Sonny and Brenda’s date, they consider themselves officially “together”.
Guza explains in SOD that, “We will get to see her happy and we’ll get to see Sonny happy too”.
BUT… “there is also danger, the Balkan, and challenges that neither of them could have ever imagined.”
Spinelli is torn between his loyalties to Carly and Brenda.
Luke questiions Lucky about Siobhan.
Claire seeks out Ronnie’s assistance in her investigation of the Balkan.
Jason comes to Sam’s rescue.
Dante and Jason devise a plan to lure the Balkan out.
Although Michael is slowly opening up to Abby, he is still not ready to reveal his experiences in prison.
Maya threatens Ethan with divorce.
Maya blasts Ethan after learning he “went on a date” with Lisa. Would Maya be jealous over Ethan’s bond with Kristina? Annie Ilonza shared in SOW, “I’m curious to see how this pans out; if Maya notices any bond. I do think Maya has feelings for Ethan so any girl that pops up in the mix would make her a little jealous.”
Johnny blackmails Lisa.
Johnny and Lisa grow closer as his relationship with Olivia falls apart.
Lucky is surprised when Siobhan infiltrates his secret mission.
Siobhan offers Lucky her services.
Siobhan and Lucky uncover some surprising evidence.
Dante goes above and beyond as Brenda’s bodyguard.
After a few drinks, and a memory filled chat with Brenda, Dante bares his soul to someone…
Michael takes Dante’s keys after being called to Jake’s, and drives a chatty Dante home. Dante wakes up hungover, regretful of what he said the night before. The brothers bond as Michael attempts to make him a homemade hangover remedy.
A man approaches Abby in the street, treating her as if they were in a strip club. Michael doesn’t like seeing someone be touched when they do not want to be. Michael loses it when the guy denigrates Abby, saying things like she is paid to be touched–Michael beats him up and knocks him out.
Now that Abby has seen his rage, Michael fears she will never want to be with him again, but she assures him that is not the case. Also, since he is on probation, this could land him in hot water. He calls upon Jason for help.
Kristina angers Michael when she suggests that Abby is only after him for his money.
Michael comes close to screwing things up with Abby when he says the wrong thing.
He makes the mistake of offering to pay for her time! She walks out claiming he is treating her like a prostitute. Later in the week, he asks her out properly.
Michael likes Abby, but he is not sure how she feels about him. Chad explains in SOW, “He is still pretty new to all this, so he doesn’t want to rush things…Abby is someone he can relate to, because she has some things in her closet, and he can be more open with her [than he can be with his sister, for example]. Michael knows that he is not going to get along well with any of the girls in his high school. At 17 or 18, “They wouldn’t be able to handle someone with so much baggage… There are things he can say to Abby that he can’t say to anyone else.”
Passion rises after Sonny gives Brenda a special gift.
Laura (off screen) calls Luke and reveals that Edward contacted her.
Luke faces off with Edward about trying to meddle in his and Tracy’s plans.
Luke begins to get cold feet.
Robin busts Lisa stealing antibiotics for Johnny.
Dante makes a move to bring the Balkan out of hiding.
He sets a trap for him at the hospital. (This may involve Alexander’s body.)
Carly begs Jason for help in breaking up Sonny and Brenda.
Liz is jealous of Nikolas and Brook Lynn.
Carly becomes aware of Abby.
Next week: Part II: a more in depth look at what worked on GH this year and what didn’t.