Archive for the Moxie and Kumar Category

Moxie and Kumar: Best and Worst list 2010 Part I

Posted in General Hospital, Honest to blog, Maurice Benard, Moxie and Kumar, Soap Media, Soap Operas, Sonny Corinthos with tags , , , , , , , on December 5, 2010 by ghblowhard

Winners were chosen using a top secret, scientific tabulation and then given to us in sealed envelopes by Deloitte & Touche. See below vid for spoilers.

Best character without a penis

  • Tie! Johnny and Jax

Best Actor who puts up with the most ish storylines and still puts in a brilliant performance

Port Charles’ biggest punching bag

Port Charles’  biggest lurker

Port Charles’  biggest stalker

Port Charles’ biggest whiner

  • Jasper Jacks
  • close runner-up Johnny (we know, his sister died but not before she terrorized Sonny’s kids, slept with Sonny’s brother, used faulty contraception to get pregnant, put Michael in a coma, and kidnapped a pregnant woman and tried to steal her baby)

Port Charles’ biggest slut

Best unrequited love:

  • Jax for Sonny

Best facial mole placement of all time

Most overused comedic technique

  • Spinelli’s nicknames

Biggest soap magazine whiner

  • Soaps in Depth: stop using Maurice Benard to sell your magazine then continually bash his character  in your opinion pieces that you masquerade as news articles. Unethical Much?

Biggest Soap Blogger turn-off

  • Begin with: “You know how much I hate Sonny”.  We know where this is going  so we’ll skip your blog. Thanks!

Nastiest blogger

  • Nelson Branco

Best Actor

  • Maurice Benard: whether it’s good writing or bad Maurice brings it 365 days a year

Best Actress

  • Tie: Lexie Ainsworth (she was brilliant in the abuse s/l with Keifer), Kimberly McCullough

Best Style

  • Maurice Benard–no one can wear a suit like him

Worst Style

  • Suzanne Stanwyck: cover your cleavage lady it’s no longer your best asset

Best Storyline

  • Three way tie! Sonny shoots Dante, Kristina abused by Keifer, Sonny and Brenda’s rekindled romance

Best Looks

Best Line

  • Brenda Barrett (to Sonny): I only want to be seen with you
  • Brenda Barrett (to Sonny): I realize now that it wasn’t the absence of someone who made me feel lonely, it was the absence of you

Sonny Corinthos (to Brenda):

  • You were breathtaking

Best Couple

  • Sonny and Brenda

Most Beautiful Couple

  • Sonny and Brenda

Worst Couple

  • Three way tie: Lante, Mac & Alexis, Jolivia

Best self pimped couple:

  • Jolivia

Characters we’d like to see less of:

  • Spinelli, Suzanne, Johnny, Jax

Blogger themes we’re most sick of

  • Three way tie! Soaps are dead, mob violence is bad, Sonny is an evil man whore (Alexis and Liz have kids by three different fathers and nobody gripes about them. In her three years on GH Courtney was married THREE times and had a love child with Nik, yet nobody continually harps about the action she got)

Best Moment

  • Sonny and Brenda see each other in Rome

Best scene watched through tears

  • Sonny and Brenda declare their feelings for one another in Sonny’s old apartment

Best Newcomer

  • Erin Chambers (Siobhan)

Best Martin Scorsese inspired storyline (a la Gangs of New York)

  • Lucky masquerading as Ronan O’Reilly

Best Francis Ford Coppola inspired moment

  • Sonny shoots Dante juxtaposed with Josslyn’s Christening scene

Best John Waters inspired moment

  • Nik’s “Dante’s flashback” hair

Worst place for private conversations

  • Nurses Station

Biggest Mouth

  • Carly

Most idiotic mobster confidante

  • Spinelli

Best renewed friendship

  • Sonny and Alexis

Dumbest character

  • Lulu

Worst Sonny enemy

Worst Sneer

  • Tie: Johnny and Carly

Worst character transition

  • Michael from lion to pussy cat

Worst over-used electronic device

  • Jax’s telephone (he never does his own dirty work because he’s got people)

Worst segue

  • Carly going to bat for Sonny when he went to trial for killing Claudia then turning on him after Dante spilled the beans about Michael

Things we’d like to see in the coming year

  • Sonny/Dante bonding
  • a REAL Sonny and Brenda romance with no interlopers
  • Brenda/Kristina bonding

Things that makes absolutely no sense

  • Sonny is an evil, killer, sociopath mobster who kills people and bad to be in a relationship with  but his hit man who actually kills more people than anyone on the show and is also a mobster is a perfect dreamboat
  • Diane lambasts any woman who is with Sonny but she dates Max who works for him
  • Suzanne hates evil, killer, sociopath mobster who kills people Sonny but LOVES Jason his hit man
  • Helena is a ruthless woman who actually enjoys maiming and killing people but she’s campy and fun! We guess being good at accessorizing trumps all.
  • Tracy hates Sonny for being a criminal mobster but not too long ago SHE was a criminal mobster

Are we biased? Hells yeah! But so is everyone else. Don’t let them fool you.

Have a day!
Moxie and Kumar


Monday, December 6
*Sonny & Brenda are about to make love when they’re interrupted by Carly & Spinelli.
*Olivia & Johnny end their relationship.
*We meet Theo Hoffman.

Tuesday, December 7
*Dante goes above & beyond as Brenda’s bodyguard.

Wednesday, December 8
*Diane tries to convince Brenda NOT to reunite with Sonny.
*Michael is called to Jake’s to pick up an inebriated Dante.
*Dante bares his soul to Michael.
Michael sticks his foot in his mouth with Abby.

Thursday, December 9
*When Lulu discovers Dante hung-over she questions his recent behavior.
*Dante goes to see Sonny, intent on telling him his the full truth.

Friday, December 10
*Sonny Surprises Brenda with a gift!
*Sonny & Brenda begin to make love!
*Olivia and Steve hit the sheets.

Monday, December 13
Carly begs Jason to keep Sonny & Brenda apart.
*Michel confides in Sam about his feelings for Abby.

Wednesday, December 15
*Jason realizes Jerry is involved somehow.
*Jerry shows up at the Jax’s house & proclaims his hatred for Brenda.

Friday, December 17
*LuLu worries that Dante is still in-love with Brenda.
*LuLu might just join forces with Carly.

Tuesday, December 21
12/21 Luke and Tracy’s big day arrives.

Thursday, December 23
GH airs an encore episode.

Friday, December 24
~*~*~ CHRISTMAS EVE~*~*~
GH airs an encore episode.

The following may have come from GHH

Jason and Lucky and Dante add it all up and realize that only one person would be fixated on Sam to such a creepy degree…Jerry Jax. They wonder if he is the Balkan (he isn’t).

Siobhan is determined to be of help to Lucky.

Maya asks Nikolas to ease up on Robin.

Lisa tries to manipulate both Nikolas and Johnny.

Maya tries to avoid Ethan.

Maya fights her growing feelings for Ethan…she wants to keep things strictly business.

Sonny and Brenda go on their date; Carly is not pleased.
After Sonny and Brenda’s date, they consider themselves officially “together”.

Guza explains in SOD that, “We will get to see her happy and we’ll get to see Sonny happy too”.
BUT… “there is also danger, the Balkan, and challenges that neither of them could have ever imagined.”

Spinelli is torn between his loyalties to Carly and Brenda.

Luke questiions Lucky about Siobhan.

Claire seeks out Ronnie’s assistance in her investigation of the Balkan.

Jason comes to Sam’s rescue.

Dante and Jason devise a plan to lure the Balkan out.

Although Michael is slowly opening up to Abby, he is still not ready to reveal his experiences in prison.

Maya threatens Ethan with divorce.

Maya blasts Ethan after learning he “went on a date” with Lisa. Would Maya be jealous over Ethan’s bond with Kristina? Annie Ilonza shared in SOW, “I’m curious to see how this pans out; if Maya notices any bond. I do think Maya has feelings for Ethan so any girl that pops up in the mix would make her a little jealous.”

Johnny blackmails Lisa.
Johnny and Lisa grow closer as his relationship with Olivia falls apart.

Lucky is surprised when Siobhan infiltrates his secret mission.
Siobhan offers Lucky her services.
Siobhan and Lucky uncover some surprising evidence.

Dante goes above and beyond as Brenda’s bodyguard.

After a few drinks, and a memory filled chat with Brenda, Dante bares his soul to someone…
Michael takes Dante’s keys after being called to Jake’s, and drives a chatty Dante home. Dante wakes up hungover, regretful of what he said the night before. The brothers bond as Michael attempts to make him a homemade hangover remedy.

A man approaches Abby in the street, treating her as if they were in a strip club. Michael doesn’t like seeing someone be touched when they do not want to be. Michael loses it when the guy denigrates Abby, saying things like she is paid to be touched–Michael beats him up and knocks him out.

Now that Abby has seen his rage, Michael fears she will never want to be with him again, but she assures him that is not the case. Also, since he is on probation, this could land him in hot water. He calls upon Jason for help.

Kristina angers Michael when she suggests that Abby is only after him for his money.

Michael comes close to screwing things up with Abby when he says the wrong thing.
He makes the mistake of offering to pay for her time! She walks out claiming he is treating her like a prostitute. Later in the week, he asks her out properly.

Michael likes Abby, but he is not sure how she feels about him. Chad explains in SOW, “He is still pretty new to all this, so he doesn’t want to rush things…Abby is someone he can relate to, because she has some things in her closet, and he can be more open with her [than he can be with his sister, for example]. Michael knows that he is not going to get along well with any of the girls in his high school. At 17 or 18, “They wouldn’t be able to handle someone with so much baggage… There are things he can say to Abby that he can’t say to anyone else.”

Passion rises after Sonny gives Brenda a special gift.

Laura (off screen) calls Luke and reveals that Edward contacted her.

Luke faces off with Edward about trying to meddle in his and Tracy’s plans.

Luke begins to get cold feet.

Robin busts Lisa stealing antibiotics for Johnny.

Dante makes a move to bring the Balkan out of hiding.
He sets a trap for him at the hospital. (This may involve Alexander’s body.)

Carly begs Jason for help in breaking up Sonny and Brenda.

Liz is jealous of Nikolas and Brook Lynn.

Carly becomes aware of Abby.

Next week: Part II: a more in depth look at what worked on GH this year and what didn’t.

Why Bob Why? (warning spoilers) Moxie and Kumar’s eye on soaps, observations and thoughts

Posted in General Hospital, Honest to blog, Maurice Benard, Moxie and Kumar, Soap Operas, Sonny Corinthos on July 6, 2010 by ghblowhard

The month of July will be a difficult one for Sonny fans.  Kristina will barely dodge bodily harm when the car bomb meant for Johnny goes off.  Not to worry though, Johnny bravo will save her!  Jason, Spin and Dante will be off playing hero, hunting down Franco and saving their damsels in distress.  What will Sonny fans get? After Sonny’s bomb plot goes awry he lies about it to Alexis and law enforcement.  Michael will over hear him and be brought into Sonny’s conspiracy. And of course there’s the inevitable Jason tie in: if  the police find out that Sonny was behind the car bomb Jason could be hauled back to jail! All this and at some point Warren Bauer goes on a rampage with a gun and Liz’s baby is kidnapped and  the hospital goes on lock down.

Dear Bob, please do Sonny and his fans a favor and have Warren shoot him and put him into a coma. At least until mid August. Please spare us the agony of watching Sonny get blamed, be the foil, get trashed and drink more of the Guza stupid juice.    Please leave us some semblance of the character we love.

Bob, you have stated that, “We need to get Sonny down as low as we can in order to pick  him back up and Brenda will be the vehicle to do that”.  To which Sonny fans can only ask, “Why Bob Why?”.  Why is it necessary to turn Sonny into a bumbling, fumbling bad mobster whose kids hate him and whose friendships have dwindled down to zip? We can assure you that many Sonny fans would have welcomed a redux of S&B  without having to watch him being chewed up and spit out by every other character on the show,  made the foil in every situation and pimp the “good” mobster (Jason) and the “victim” mobster (Johnny).

In spite of  running Sonny through the ringer, Bob, many viewers still love the character.  All of the crap you have heaped upon him in the last six months has not diminished his popularity.  THAT you owe to the charisma, talent and good looks of Maurice Benard.  Any other character with this much “ish” thrown at him would have been long gone.  However, Maurice manages to salvage Sonny by infusing him with vulnerability and pathos that sees Sonny through every crisis. But, Bob,  you have stolen Sonny’s narrative and drawn and quartered it and given it to Jason, Johnny, Jax and to some extent Dante.  In short, Bob, you use Sonny to give every other character a storyline but HIM. Your one-dimensional, plot driven writing for Sonny hinders Maurice from interjecting humor, romance,  and flexibility that may layer the character and give us the Sonny back we know and love.

Bob, you say you are doing this to support your Sonny and Brenda story. What about fans who may not want “this” Sonny and Brenda? You have written Sonny in such a negative light and totally isolated him from friends, family that he has no point of view of his own.  You leave nothing else for fans who may not want Sonny with Brenda.  This was the same problem with Sonny and Carly ( in the beginning and then with Jarly it got worse), and Sonny and Kate.  You left Sonny with nothing else.  This is getting old and Sonny fans are beyond sick of it.  When, if ever, will we see a layered, balanced, and “in charge” Sonny again? We miss him.

But Bob, here is the big question.  Why does the Sonny we love have to totally be destroyed and reconstructed to re-introduce Brenda into his life?  Do you do this because you know whatever you throw at Sonny his fans will continue to watch? Or do you do this to punish us for not swallowing your crap.

Have a day!

Moxie and Kumar

Moxie and Kumar’s eye on soaps, observations, and thoughts

Posted in General Hospital, Moxie and Kumar, Soap Operas, Sonny Corinthos on December 4, 2009 by ghblowhard

How sad is it that ABC is squandering James Franco’s guest stint on GH by having him obsessed with a MOBSTER Jason Morgan who works for that COLD BLOODED KILLER Mob capo Sonny Corinthos?  Everyone knows that Sonny is a MYSOGYNIST who hates women. He does stuff like being all sexy and attractive with the dimples. SO manipulative .

Even though he was totally unworthy of Carly he SHOULD not have ABUSED her by trying to save her from a life tied to the mob when he called off their wedding in Martinique.  However, after putting Carly through all that abusive abuse Carly was able to convince him to marry her and that she could handle the life. Then he CRUELLY didn’t want to have any more children because he CRUELLY didn’t think the mob life was safe for children. Thankfully Carly and Jason prevailed and convinced him it was safe to have Morgan.  Then that COLD BLOODED KILLER put Carly and her boys in danger because of his DANGEROUS AND VIOLENT lifestyle.  He’s a misogynistic SELFISH BASTARD. We’re so glad that Carly got away from that monster Sonny after she forced Sonny to chase her to Martinique and convinced  him to marry her.

What we miss on soaps is the romance.  Like the beautiful love story of Luke and Laura which began with a 30-ish Luke Spencer  coveting a 17-year-old Laura Baldwin and then raping her.  Sigh! So beautiful. Now that is romance.  Fortunately Luke was able to convince Laura that he didn’t rape her it was a seduction. Silly Laura!  Oh how we miss those beautiful romances.

One thing we did like about GH today was Fraxie–Franco and Maxie. How romantic was it that Franco forced Maxie against her better judgement to get in his car ALONE  even though he was a relative stranger to her. They had an Instant Connection! Then he blindfolded her–yes BLINDFOLDED her. SWOON.  He took her back to his creepy studio and while she was still blindfolded (blindfold was red–nice touch! Maxie works at Crimson-get it? SO CLEVER! ) he photographed her resembling a homicide victim in a chalk drawing.  Why don’t men like that exist in real life? Oh wait–they do. They’re called serial killers.  Then after Franco debased her by taking those misogynist photographs he seduced her. SIGH! WEEK KNEES ALERT!

See GH this is we want. Serial killers not MOBSTERS!

Here is the scene of Luke’s “seduction” of Laura

Moxie and Kumar’s eye on soaps, observations, and thoughts

Posted in General Hospital, Moxie and Kumar, Soap Operas on December 2, 2009 by ghblowhard

Snark. Oho! Find hole in GH plotpoint. We rule! Point out the obvious-something a cat could pick up when watching GH, like they dress like its summer even though its freezing cold in upstate NY this time of year. Snark, complain, bitch, moan, snark again, hate Sonny. Bitch. Be a tad critical of a character. Checkmate! Violence is bad and we hate it. Hate the mob.  Bitch. Moan. Hate character X for taking Sonny’s side. Snark. Moan some more. Sonny is a cold blooded killer. moan, complain, bitch. Snark. Hate Sonny angnst (ed note: M&K–a character that has angst can’t be cold blooded. Someone cold blooded doesn’t ever doubt themselves or their actions).  Sonny ruined Jason. Bitch, moan, snark.  Liking Sonny is tantamount to killing puppies and eating them.  Bitch, moan, snark complain.  No romance on this show. Snark.